Man of Steel Review (Warning Major Spoilers Ahead)

Fuck the embargo! I’m too excited. This is the second coming of the savior.

By Chongchen Saelee

Only once in a lifetime do we get such greatness so powerfully and vibrantly illustrated across the silver screen. It is as though filmmaker Zack Snyder truly harnesses the power to bring these fantastical, fictional super-heroes to life without compromising the essence of comic book action. It’s as dramatic or as far-fetched as any comic book page believes itself to be, but it isn’t condescending of its source material. This is the epitome of comic book to film adaptations.

The film starts out by introducing us to a haggard, bearded Clark Kent. He’s glum. What’s eating Gilbert Grape? Well, as most storytelling gimmicks go, we require snippets of flashbacks. We learn that he’s actually not human, but was actually sent to Earth from a planet called Krypton by his father Jor-El. Funny, dude looks incredibly human to me. Anyway, Krypton is on the verge of civil war, their society trying to break free from it’s robotic existence. And much like the League of Shadows in Batman Begins, Krypton’s diety/AI Brainiac has deemed that it is time for a purge because Krypton has gone stale. And because Kryptonians are genetically engineered for specific existence, Jor-El wanted to have at least one Kryptonian that was free from this kind of life, his son being born from normal human conception. So he sends his baby off to a planet called Earth before the purge happens.

General Zod, of course, is under orders from Brainiac to enforce the rules. This includes terminating Jor-El for having a natural offspring. Motive is actually that basic. The civil war thing is just there to establish a sense of atmosphere and why Kal-El is so special. They fight, but Jor-El manages to escape on his dragonfly thing, much like Yoda after fighting Palpatine in Episode 3. And Zod gets thrown in the slammer because he failed to obey/complete Brainiac’s request.

Of course, we all know the age-old Superman lore. Baby Kal-El is discovered by Jonathan and Martha Kent. They take him in as their own and cope with his mysterious abilities as he develops into a man in small Midwestern town of Smallville. They don’t actually show this. There’s no need for it. But it’s done artistically through photos and newspaper clippings and such. I think Snyder believes its been done to death. In this respect, I think it actually works, maybe even on an artistic level.

We learn that Pa Kent has been trying to find out what his adopted son is and where he is from. He wants to know why his son was sent to Earth. He’s been collecting newspaper clips and other tidbits regarding extra-terrestrial activity. It’s almost as though they’ve taken all the elements from the hit TV show Smallville but adapted it for the big screen. The wall of weird was something the character Chloe did on the show.

So it cuts back and forth between Clark’s odd jobs. He rescues people, looking ordinary and extraordinary at the same time. You really believe that this shirtless hulk is super.

It parallels Bruce Wayne’s trek across the globe “to find himself”. He realizes that he has a gift that he can use to save people.

We see a flashback of Pa Kent being a hero. Clark gets bullied at school, and it’s Pa Kent that steps in and saves him. Then there’s the tornado, and Pa Kent rescues a bunch of kids. Young Clark sees all this. Of course, there’s another tornado when Clark is a young man, and Pa Kent plays hero again, but this time he dies. He doesn’t want people knowing Clark could have actually saved him. This scene I think was from Smallville, too, but maybe in a dream sequence. So Clark learns his Spider-man “with great strength comes great responsibility” morals (or guilt trip) this way. This is the hero’s journey motive.

And with the flashbacks, Pa Kent reveals to Clark the ship he came in. In it, there is the world renown Superman “s” ensignia key. It’s now a search to find what this key opens. So we double back and learn that’s what he’s been doing traveling the world. When he finally saves the people on the big rig, it’s so fulfilling that he has an epiphany. This is what he’s meant for. So with some clever montage work, it builds up to an uplifting peak and boom…

He’s Superman. I was literally teary-eyed. He takes off into the sky, his first flight. Don’t forget, this is his first time he’s ever flown. Because of the gravity differences between Krypton and Earth, this explains why Kryptonians are super-human. Clark is overjoyed by his new power and he’s just zipping through the world. First place he goes after donning his suit, like a roided Forrest Gump, is visit is aging mama.

She dispenses some life lessons about how she’d like to see him live a normal life, get married, all that good motherly stuff. So he stays with her in Smallville as a newly energized playa Clark Kent for a while. And this is where we are introduced to Lois Lane. She wants to be a reporter and plans to go to Metropolis. The two have mutual attraction for each other. And before it becomes a sappy, cookie-cutter romantic comedy…

Zod arrives. And chaos ensues. He’s under new commands, having be released from impending imprisonment, to find the last son of Krypton. They need his DNA to recreate the Kryptonian race. Of course, we know the protagonist doesn’t just submit to the antagonist, otherwise there is no conflict, and you don’t get your popcorn movie. So Superman resists and a lot of Metropolis/Smallville people die. Superman defeating Zod eventually goes without saying.

As for the love angle, Lois is the daughter of a military general. She’s got the hots for Superman, the bad boy in the leather jacket that vrooms in on a motorcycle and seduces the virgin Mary. Lois has access to her little crony team and military transport because of her connection. So naturally, she uses it to stalk Superman.

Eventually, Superman hands himself over to the military. Says he’s their friend, then acts as a wannabe diplomat/envoy to discuss negotiations with Zod. They board Zod’s crab ship and negotiations never go as planned. Big surprise. Lois gets mind-controlled by Faora. Superman, of course, trying to save her, submits to their bidding. They strap Superman to a torture device and Zod starts fucking with his mind. This is how Superman gets his laser vision. It runs on rage and Faora has triggered it out of him. Of course, he overcomes this with a vision from Jor-El, and breaks free from the contraption. Zod activates a beam and Superman blows it up, flying himself and Lois out of there. Faora gets fried with Superman’s uncontrollable first time usage of his laser beams.

Of course, Zod escapes. The fight goes one-on-one in the streets now. And the two giants decimate the city.

Eventually, Zod gets killed by a giant octopus looking robot. Gets crushed right away.

So the final fight is between Superman and giant octo bot. Saves the day. Everyone cheers.

Lois helps him find a job at the Daily Planet as mild-mannered Clark Kent to pass the time when he’s not “busy being Superman”. Clark responds, “I’ll always be Superman, Lois.” Cut to montage of him being Superman. Flies into Earth’s orbit. The End. Cheer.

How credible am I:

http://blog.eastfist.com/2010/08/16/superman-man-of-steel-film-2012-casting-and-storyline/

As a thanks for visiting:

=================UPDATE======================

Here’s the real review:

http://blog.eastfist.com/2013/06/14/man-of-steel-review-2/

Feel free to comment, question, discuss!

================LINKS=========================

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41 Responses to “Man of Steel Review (Warning Major Spoilers Ahead)”

  1. Youarefake says:

    Snyder and Goyer have already said the only major villian mentioned in this film is Zod. So clearly this review is fake

  2. Some Dude says:

    Definitely fake.

    We already know that Zod is imprisoned for trying to overthrow the council, that Lois is already a reporter for the Daily Planet (we even see her talking to Perry White about previous articles, and the soldiers she’s travel ling with mention she’s a reporter for the Daily Planet.

    Zod wasn’t freed by anyone. The explosion of Krypton is what disrupts the Phantom Zone and sets him and his soldiers free.

    Superman’s first use of heat vision is during the battle for Smallville, not on Zod’s ship.

    Very shoddy work. Delete this page, read up on the released material and give another go at doing a fake review.

  3. Alex Hunter says:

    Can you name the DC references? (I dont wanna read the review rying to avoid spoilers.)

  4. Kal-El says:

    Just so you all know this is crap and full of bull*”%$!!!
    First score by a movie critic here:

    http://www.criticschoice.com/members/esymkus/

    He scored MOS higher then the Iron “Boy” 3, and the same as Star Trek Into Darkness.

  5. Wolfgb says:

    If true sounds awesome. What was your favourite scene ?

  6. LiarLiarPantsOnFire says:

    And if everything you’re saying is true how about Lois? Fvcking liar, It’s been confirmed in the 13 Minute Featurette that Lois is already a well establish and well known reporter by the time she even hears about the mysterious savior. So she does NOT meet Clark and tell him “she wants to be a reporter” and “wants to go to Metropolis” GTFO with that shit. I was totally believing this review till i got to that part and realized this was a person making up some bullshit to pander to our appetites for news such as that.And he doesn’t even mention Jor-El’s role on earth. Also.. He claims superman has a revelation that he’s here to save people and BAM he’s superman.. bullshit.. even the trailer tells us he goes to the Fvcking Fortress first to learn who he is and shit.

    The Review ” They strap Superman to a torture device and Zod starts [frick]ing with his mind. This is how Superman gets his laser vision.”

    Another bullshit. Collider and everyone that went to the set have confirmed that he first uses this by accident in Smallville when Mo-Cap dude and Faora have him pinned down..

    Collider “Anyway, during the first part of the sequence, we watched as Superman was on the ground and was being held down and attacked by Faora and MCM (short for Motion-Capture Man). As they fought, he was definitely losing, and at one point he started to scream and that’s when he used his heat vision. The way it unfolds, I could see that both Faora and MCM had no idea he could use his eyes to burn them, and they were clearly hurt. They also didn’t use the power on him.”
    So.. Got anything else besides “we’ll see?”

  7. Michael McDonnell says:

    They missed out Lois searching for him and the school bus.

  8. Kez says:

    This is not really a review as you didn’t give your opinion/ rating of the film but you did give away the entire plot so kudos. No seriously, thank you. Definitely going to see the film. Braniac woohoo!!

    • My rating: 8.7 out of 10; Not as good as The Dark Knight, but clearly better than The Dark Knight Rises. I thought my review was pretty clear that I thought it was wicked awesome.

  9. Britt says:

    Since you’ve seen the film would you say Man of Steel was better than the Avengers?

  10. Shashank says:

    Does the movie hint back to brainiac the second time, after Zod’s death may be?

  11. Joe Blow says:

    So where does the octobot come from? Who controls it?

  12. comicmoviefan says:

    chances of Man of Steel being nominated or winning Best Picture at the oscars?

  13. Wayne says:

    Hey, does the movie has any post credit scene? Or any cliffhanger that leads to another movie? 🙂

  14. Britt says:

    Are you a comic book reader? If so do you think this adaption stayed true to the source (Superman in comics)?

  15. iamtom says:

    Can you please explain Sods death a little more

  16. johnny ramirez says:

    In a featurette I saw what looked like a ship or something, warp in on itself. Is tht how kryptonian space ships travel into subspace?? Cuz, tht would be so fucking cool

  17. John says:

    Is Lex Luthor in the movie at all?

    and how many fight scenes are there?

  18. Heisenberg says:

    Is Kryptonite shown or alluded to?

  19. Gozer says:

    So Krypton is actually destroyed? I’ve heard some nasty rumors indicating otherwise.

  20. joe says:

    Can you confirm some spoilers I read online that’s in the film?
    1. Did Superman fly light speed away from earth with Zod in chase and Superman also throwing a couple planets at Zod fight across the universe?
    2. Did Zod destroy most of the military with his heat vision?
    3, Did all of Zods soldiers have super strength like Zod and ganged up on Superman?
    4. Who is that one giant follower of Zod he must be 8ft tall.

    • 1. No
      2. No
      3. Technically, no. All Kryptonian “strength” is relative. Zods henchmen can gang up on Superman because they are bigger or are trained in martial arts, not because they have “superhuman strength”. Remember, on Krypton, they would be normal and can’t fly, no heat vision, no super hearing, etc.
      4. Nam-Ek

  21. RG says:

    I Could of sworn Superman Snapped Zod’s Neck & Lois & Superman first meet on board of Zod’s ship…. Did we see a whole different Movie ???

  22. johnny ramirez says:

    Fake review lol

    • Is it? 😉 85% accurate, which is pretty much the whole movie. And all plot points and elements I conceived prior years before in blog posts and art design. Check out my deviantart account. Warner Bros. steals people’s work.