Eastfist

All my years eating mayonnaise in sandwiches and egg or tuna salad and it never occurred to me to learn what it actually was. It wasn’t until I watched a clip of popular TV chef Gordon Ramsay show exactly how simple it is to make mayonnaise. Did you know all mayonnaise is simply beaten eggs and oil? Yeah. That’s all it is. So when you have that egg and bacon sandwich slathered with mayo, you may actually be eating twice as many eggs in one meal! And you wonder why you put on so much weight.

But point being, if you are looking for a cheap calorie boost, and you don’t have eggs lying around, then why not make yourself a literal mayo sandwich? I’ve done it and it works wonders. And strange how a jar of mayo seems to last longer than a dozen of actual eggs doesn’t it? That’s because oil doesn’t rot. When you mix the oil in with the egg proteins (that actually can rot), then it changes the nature of it. Granted, you’re also eating a lot of oil too, but eggs be eggs. And the oil may actually make it taste better. It always makes your fast food sandwiches taste better!

So if you a po boy, go make yeself a mayo sandwich and not be ashamed about it. Trust me, it is literally THE SAME THING as eating egg sandwich!

Out of sheer boredom, I decided to make some onion “pancakes” today. Practice makes perfect. You start out with some all-purpose flour, about two handfuls. You add hot water to it and knead it until it becomes soft and elastic. I’ve found using a rolling pin helpful, but this kind of food calls for TLC. Make it right and it’ll taste right (see how I’m BS-ing?).

After letting the dough sit, roll it out like a pizza crust (tsk-tsk, Marco Polo). Rub some oil into the dough (I used sesame seed oil, but you can use what tastes best for you). Then chop up some green onions and sprinkle it on the outstretched dough. Roll that thing back up and roll it out thin (the thinner the better, but we’re not making wafers). That distributes the green onions evenly.

Heat up a frying pan with some oil in it. Put the stretched dough on there and sear it nice like a tortilla. Flip it over and sear the other side. When it’s done, it should be crispy on the outside, but chewy in the middle. This is the same dough used to make pot stickers, also known as wonton wraps.

Don’t forget to salt it unless you like it plain. Otherwise, you can make a salty sauce. I usually concoct a sauce consisting of “chicken fun zew” (you know, the red chili sauce with the rooster on it), fish sauce, and lime juice. However, today we didn’t have that so I made a similar sauce with soy sauce, sesame oil and lime juice.




The first one I messed up. It was too crispy and became a cracker. The second one I made better because I added more water. It was flakey, aromatic, and satisfying. That must have taken at least 3 hours, which was mainly kneading. As they say, gotta eat!