The Economics of Dating When You’re Poor Bachelor

And women wonder where the prostitution stigma comes from.

If you’re trying to scrimp on spending money to get some sexin’, it’s understandable that you have to make some sacrifices. The courting ritual can either cost a lot or cost nothing at all. But young people want the thrills that come with high rolling. They want to claim that spending more to impress a hottie shows how much they really want to bang her. Let’s put some numbers behind the concept:

A relatively superficial date costs:

$30 gas
$50 eat at decent restuarant
$100 some superficial gift you buy her at mall + flowers + chocolates + teddy bear + something sparkly

That’s almost $200 in just one day! And there’s not even a guarantee she’ll put out.

So if you think you’re a baller and want to take her out at least 2 days a week (hoping to get laid Saturday), the total rounds to $400 ($200 x 2 = 400, simple math).

How much do you make a week in minimum wage? If you’re working full-time, I can’t possibly see how you’ll have time to go pussy-hunting that week. Or would you even have the energy? Even a caveman needs to eat and sleep first, take care of hisself, before he goes clubs himself some cave-pussy. If you’re lucky to even be making $10/hour full-time, that’ll bring you about $380/week after taxes and shit. You’ll be lucky you can impress her wearing a pair of clean pants for the date.

And you still couldn’t get laid.

So if you’re really desperate and don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, you take her out every day of the week, again, hoping to get some on Saturday.

$200 x 5 = $1,000! Holy shit! A grand and still no pussy!

Did you remember to pay your rent? That’s if you’re living on your own in a shitty studio apartment. What about your pet frog? Did you feed Kermit?

Let’s say the woman you’re lusting over won’t put out until you’ve gone on x-amount of dates. You’ve spent $1,000 to get those panties off. Then, on the sixth date, she promises to give you a happy ending.

And just you’re luck, you need to get a box of condoms (so you don’t fall deeper into debt or other kinds of burden and obligation), but you’ve exceeded your bank account withdrawal amount. What’s a dumb, horny chump to do now? The girl has made you spend 2 months worth of pay (your life’s savings) and now you can’t even cross the finish line (you were really looking forward to cumming on her face, like a real he-man, and donkey punch her).

So how bad do you want that magic pussy? You either need to step up your game and start dealing dope on the side or sell your dick on the downlow to creepy high school gym teachers in the alleyways. All this for Wonder Woman’s pussy.

See, if people were just honest about what they wanted, all the sex without the jumping through hoops, they could just pay a hooker $50 and it’s a guarantee she’ll put something of yours in her mouth (you might get crabs or some other VD, but atleast your self-respect will still be intact). By the time your fantasy girl decides to play your iron flute, you’ll be locked down and married to her. And after you’ve had some unplanned children with her, she won’t be banging you anymore. And she’ll still be draining money from you, which means more work for you with no return.

Lesson of the story: find a woman of value. Any single woman who demands you to “have your shit” together isn’t looking for a person to fall in love with. She’s looking for a new daddy. It’s important that you do have your own goals and stuff, but when it comes to dating, why would you want to be anything more than yourself?

If I have to lie to a woman that I don’t want to give her anal because I respect a woman’s body as her temple, but ultimately convince her that if she can take my giant tiger penis up the alley that it makes me feel more like a man, then our sexual relationship was built on a lie. And then, what if she likes it so much, now she goes looking for another man to tie her up by her nipples and whip her with a cat-o-nine tails. See, then I wouldn’t be able to live up to wearing a gimp mask and ass-less chaps to win her back.

Find a woman of value. Make sure you’re compatible. Tell her everything that you want. And if she can give it to you, then she may be worth keeping. And she’ll probably fuck you for free, too. What a catch!


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